It’s probably not a big surprise to you, but not everyone is nice and plays fair. In fact, I’ll bet that at some point in time you’ve found yourself negotiating with someone who’s a better negotiator than you are. Someone who’s a smooth talker and who can think faster on their feet. Someone, whom every time that you try and defend your position, has a comeback for you so fast that your brain is still trying to figure out the last point they made. 

You can’t keep up as they run mental circles around you.  Your mind spins trying to absorb all their statements. Meanwhile they’re already onto the next point. You’re getting the feeling that you’re getting screwed. You just can’t explain exactly why,

What if that tough negotiator also happens to be the client that you’re building for? Someone who you’ve got to have an ongoing relationship with for the duration of the project and beyond. You can’t just tell them to stuff it. All that’s going to do is create more headaches for you.

I’m a slow learner and a people pleaser. So, sometimes I found myself agreeing to things that weren’t a fair deal. It took me a long time to figure out an effective strategy for dealing with these situations.

So here it is…

When someone offers you terms that don’t feel right, you can say, “You know, that’s a very interesting proposal you’re making. I need to think about it overnight. I’ll get back to you tomorrow.”

If they push you to agree to something right then and there, you can politely and firmly push back. Then after sleeping on it, write down the deal points that they’re offering, as you understand them. Then either meet up or give them a call.

“So, let me run this by you to see if I understand what you’re proposing,” you say.

Then state each of their proposed deal points to them. At the end of each deal point, you ask, “Did I get that right?”

As they say yes, you then bring up the next deal point of theirs. Then ask the same question. So you’ll get a series of yeses. If you don’t get a yes, ask for clarifications until you’re able to repeat it back to them and get a yes.

They’re feeling pretty good now. You’ve obviously grasped all their points. They’ve agreed that those are their points. They've said yes repeatedly.

Now, here’s the tricky part… without an edge in your voice and without any malice, you quietly say to them, “Ok, so it seems like I’m understanding what you’re proposing. Can you explain to me how this is a fair deal?”

Then you just close your mouth, wait and listen to what they have to say.

Perhaps you missed something and maybe they really can explain how it’s a fair deal. Most of the time though, they’re stumped by the question. I’ve found even the most silver tongued negotiator will become very quiet. After all, they can’t explain how it’s a fair deal because it’s not.

Instead of you being on the defensive, which is where they’re used to having their opponent, you’re simply waiting for them to explain how it’s a fair deal. After all, business is supposed to be fair, isn’t it? A fair trade of services and product in exchange for fair pay. Of course, almost everyone wants to think they’re a fair person.

So after a few moments of quietness as they’re stumbling over words, you say “It doesn’t seem like a very fair deal, does it? How about if we do this instead?” And that’s when you offer an alternative deal that you’ve already thought up that you can agree to.

Try it. Nine times out of ten, I’ve found that it works.

Here’s to your success!