Extricate: to free or remove from an entanglement or difficulty.

As in “If you extricate yourself or another person from a difficult or serious situation, you free yourself or the other person from it.”

Who would have thought that a pandemic would create a building boom? Not just a building boom, but the biggest one in the last fifty years. The only other one that comes remotely close is the building boom of 2004 to 2007. Of course, we know how that ended.

Yes, these are unprecedented times. The builders and contractors I speak to around the country report their biggest contracted backlogs ever, shorthanded crews, supply chain issues, price increases, inability to get estimates from trades, and as a result an inability to get contract proposals out the door.

Capacity is constrained. You’re up to your eyeballs in keeping track of a million details and now on top of that, adding to the uncertainty of the world is the Russian invasion of the Ukraine. Other than these factors, business is fine, just fine.

No matter what, the one thing you can count on in the building business is stress. When times are slow, you’re stressed trying to get busy. And when times are good, you’re stressed working to get it all done.

So let’s add in one more stress factor… the client you started interacting with months ago that you now know that you need to extricate yourself from. For whatever reason.

Perhaps they act like they don’t understand the current state of affairs. Like that price increases somehow won’t apply to them. Or they want you to break out your pricing options every which way but Sunday. Or that you can guarantee a schedule in today’s environment. Or they disappeared for a while, but now they’ve come back and your capacity is over booked.

While you always need to be careful of which clients you take on, as life is too short to deal with grudging people, it’s especially true when you’re this busy. You can afford to be choosy.

So how do you unwind a client relationship? Well, if you’ve already signed a construction contract or even started the physical work, you don’t. You are obligated legally, morally, and financially. To protect your reputation, and because in the long run it makes good business sense, you will just need to grin and bear it and complete the work.

But what about if you haven’t started the work yet, but you’ve indicated some kind of commitment to the client? Such as you signed a pre-construction services agreement to put together a proposal to do their job with the intention of following up with a construction contract. Or you met with them a number of times over the last few months and you’re realizing that in today’s environment you’re not going to be able to handle them.

Now you’ve got to unload them. You need to do it in way that reflects some compassion and allows everyone to save face.

Since this is not an easy conversation to have, most of us put it off. Of course, that only makes it worse. However, that’s human nature to want to avoid pain and confrontations. And that’s what this is going to be. No one likes to be let go. So expect some anger. If they’re tough, they might threaten your reputation, your license, and your name.

It’s vitally important that this be a conversation, not an email, or worse, to ghost someone. I know. Emails are easier and ghosting even easier. Yet, those are cowardly ways of getting out.

The clients you’re letting go of need to hear a tone of regret in your voice. You’ll need to hear them out and let them vent. Better you than to their friends and neighbors. Don’t avoid the confrontation. Embrace it, but do so with some compassion.

These calls are called “clearing calls.” It’s an opportunity for you to be clear about your situation. It’s opportunity for your client to clear their heads.

Own your decision. Don’t blame it on others or the environment. It’s perfectly okay to say, “I’m sorry. I can’t do your project. I’m up to my eyeballs in current projects. I’ve got more than I can handle. I would be doing a disservice to you if I were to take it on.”

And then be quiet. Listen. If they get mad, they get mad. And that just reassures you that you made the right decision.

Acknowledge any emotions you hear. “Mr. and Mrs. Jones, I hear the frustration in your voice. I know that we’ve been working to get your project going. And (AND”, not BUT!”) I’m sorry that I am unable to take it on. I am just maxed out.”

Remember it’s always you. It’s never them. If you make it about them, that just leads down a bad path.

You keep listening and acknowledging the reasons why they want you to be their builder.

They were really looking forward to working with you. You’re the one builder they really connected with, unlike all those other guys. Your ability to do their job plus your eye for detail was just what they were looking for. You acknowledge these points and always come back to “I’m sorry that I am unable to take it on. I am just maxed out.”

They may even say, “Well, we’ll wait until you’re available!” And your job is to advise them that is not a good idea. Again, you want them to get their project going, especially in today’s environment, and that means not waiting for you.

If they paid you a pre-construction retainer, I recommend returning it, in full, even if you’ve billed against it. You’ve created an inconvenience for them. Plus you don’t want to be beholden to them in any way, shape or form. Returning what they paid you removes another objection. Let them go.

Once the conversation is completed, send a follow up email as soon as possible to document the call, your acknowledgement of the inconvenience, the points made, and any resolutions of monies that were exchanged. You’ll want this email track record, especially if they’re litigious. In which case you’ll be really glad you turned down the job. Chalk it up to experience.

So write the check. Don’t look back. And move on. Life is short.